Had a classic Mentos Moment on my way to work this morning http://ping.fm/a3qWL

Two celebrities were in the office today to do a recording and the live chat. As usual I took out the red autograph book i bought for my Grandma and stood in the what would be the longest line in our office so far. 

Everytime I ask them to sign an autograph, there'll always be a weird feeling with a slight semblance of guilt. I watch neither of your films nor guest appearances nor search for your pictures and before I went to this office, neither did i know your names. Or if I did I wouldn't have been able to associate them with your faces. And the truth is that I'm not too keen in having my picture taken with you as I would with the animals in a petting zoo. I would if I supported you as a fan, but all I want really, is your signature. And you're not getting anything back from it, this won't bring me to watch your movies or shows - and bring you cash, or buy the products you endorse and neither would I admire you. I simply don't care. Oh wait, I do want to know how our celebrities look like without the airbrush. How different they are or if ever they really are more attractive than the attractive people you actually know. Ah. But then again, I'm sure it goes both ways. I'm just a speck of the faceless crowd that ought to look up to them. For both parties, events like these are less than fleeting memories. We'll remember more vividly how many spoonfuls of sugar went into our morning coffee (or tea, since for now i have a bit more preference for the latter).

I guess I'm just not part of the demographic that will really appreciate all their hard work (there IS hard work, believe me) aside from being disappointed over the structure of the local show business. Sometimes they do spark some interest, but they die off the moment they squeeze dry every new sensation until they're bland. It's not that everything is bad, what i mean is just that the moment something fresh starts a buzz, it becomes a template for all the next shows -- for years on end. Or then again, maybe I'm just too corny and lack patience to watch TV because we have the internet.

***

But when the female celebrity held up this cute little boy maybe 2 years of age, his face contorted and he turned back to hide his face. She turned around so he can take a picture and he made a funny face in front of the camera. So she made a joke and carried the child away. In time for another picture, people were joking around "kiss! kiss!" as the culture goes where children were made to kiss adults on the cheeks, the little boy kissed her on the lips and stuck out his tongue.

Everyone broke into laughter.

As I went back to my sit, I overheard a guy joking that the little boy can now be sold on e-bay.

Indeed.

Lol. I literally crawled from the bed to the bathroom this morning. Can't seem to get up properly lately. Maybe I should cut on the sweets. XD

I'm hungry. I want snacks!

To Nica, Merci, Marga,Stacy and Nei,

I know we're supposed to update each other through our blogs, but I haven't been up to it lately.  I've read yours occasionally though.

***

I haven't been able to reply lately. Mostly because my only source of internet nowadays  is through my office terminal. And lol, the internet is sloooooow. And buggy. Sure it's unrestricted, but a few months of having to wait a few minutes to just read an article helps you resign to just doing your work. Pretty sneaky, huh? But work's been pretty interesting so far, at least by now I don't feel that I'm being paid for doing nothing anymore.

Hmmm. What else have I been upto?


I have an old new phone. Just in time for the shockofalifetime, my dad had my old LG flippy fixed. My sister and I were doing our holiday shopping (or more aptly HER holiday shopping, as I was broke for the holidays, go figure.) when she dropped my phone in a carpark somewhere. Some nice guy returned everything, her cards, her ID's...except my phone's already been run over by a car. Lol. I need a new phone...but alas. Brokeness.

My writing isn't really  anything to be proud of. I'm not one with an entertaining way with words but i really do miss blogging. I realized that even though for everyone else's purpose, these words don't have meaning, but I feel lonely. Writing on a journal is like a dear friend I just simply can't dismiss.

I haven't been too busy. I've just been afraid to write, to speak, to reveal even the tiniest bits of myself.

In the end, I did come into another self-imposed hermitage of sorts. I just felt like I needed time to compose myself...perhaps in need of even more time to compose myself still. But for what it's worth, (and as i always say) I savored and lived those moments that remained unwritten as I really should. Painful moments, Curious moments, Wonderful moments.


Well this has been a very eventful year. Last night's eve, the world was a war zone. Our balcony view was fantastic, but I could never shake off the thought that half way around the world the scenery would be an uncanny resemblance to this one. That is, except that those shiny lights and loud noises aren't quite as welcoming as they are destructive. Bless those people.

I feel sick about myself, knowing that the least I can do at that moment was to enjoy and appreciate the niceties in front of me, no matter how simple they are. But it's not hard. No, not at all. I may not be the most expressive person but I love my family to bits. There are so many things to be thankful for.

I am definitely not a morning person.

I feel pretty  much wasted, even though all that happened is an early wake up call.

But I'll give you something, my lunch for later definitely makes my day for sentimental value. And it smells good too.

Mmm. Curry.

I hope you'll be alright at the hospital...and thanks <3

I know that I've somewhat been on a hermitage this past month. My cellphone is not detecting any network signal at home and alas, we have lost our internet connection.

I'm just blogging because well...

I'm writing this at work.

At work.

0_0

Empty post.

So many things to deal with, so little spirit.

I know the best thing to do is to try to be strong.

Ganbatte, self. *Patpatpat*

Ganbatte everyone. *Patpatpat*

Maybe everything will turn out to be a blessing somehow, who knows?

I hope things turn out well somehow.

Goodbye dear friend, at least we had closure last night. I'm going to miss you to death if you must know.

***

Haaay. Time to return the PC and laptop to my Dad's company. Hello real world.

*sulks*

I've been kind of (? /relatively) busy, however broke I am. I'm just happy that at least I won't be bumming around in a few days.

As usual the best days always come undocumented, so I'd just like to leave a note here that I've had many good memories with people most important to me the past few days. Some are in photos anyway, so I'll just go ahead and check my cousin's multiply account.

I'm trying to make a fanart for a commision/kiriban but I'm a bit wary of the consequences of making fanart of such animes that have fanatic male followers like say, Ian or Andrew.

I mean...they just repeated each other's comment in verbatim. For example:

"Her body should be more rounded."

"Her complexion is pink."

"Her head is too big."

"She never wears purple."

...

Andrew: "Her boobs are too small."

._.

I certainly had the sudden impression that I should be very afraid...very, very aftraid of posting fanarts online. =3

***

After UPCAT.

Me: Nico, but at least you were confident with your answers to all the questions?
Nico: Yup!
Mommy Char: Hay Salamat naman, may chance na pumasa anak ko sa UP! *heaves sigh of relief*
Every one cheers and settles down.

...

Me: *faces nico* ...Sure?
Nico: EH pano ko naman hindi masasagutan eh multiple choice!!!

LOL. Reading it doesn't give it justice. I want to make a log of all of Nico's winning remarks and compile them into a book. It's not just what she says, but the fact that you know based on her naivete that she's serious.

...And then I'll make another book about Kenzo's winning conversations after that.

Beloved:
We did not follow cleverly devised myths
when we made known to you
the power and coming of our Lord Jesus Christ,
but we had been eyewitnesses of his majesty.
2pet1:16

I just posted this because I usually take the Bible passages like these for granted, until you read a phrase like this (We did not follow cleverly devised myths) fully expecting  and hitting the bulls-eye on how people like me (of thousands of years in the future) would take those stories. And it was right, that's how I doubt the Gospel, I always wonder whether they were really just conspiracies, cleverly designed myths.

In a world of conspiracy theories and science fiction mysteries where intellectual pursuit is a way of life, faith is a rarity, if not an impossibility. I find out things the scientific way, where skepticism is a default mindset (lol, Heroes.) so I for one would be least likely to be a believer. Maybe that's why they regard it as a blessing.

And for it to be mentioned here in this passage, relays to me a sense of honesty. As if they were thoroughly convinced without any doubt that what they were saying about Christ was true.

=( haaaaay.

I'm so confused.

I had more than a wonderful time last Friday.

I've been dreaming of people lately.

What's weird is that they're so vivid, I'd wake up and remember details of it.

Dinner made me so happy today. =3

Then I got to work on this GK thing again right after. I just finished it now. My back hurts. Muh.

Tomorrow I don't have to sleep in the basement anymore. Whoopee.

( Big Image Under Cut )

Gahhhh it's 4:30 am...must...sleep...now...

I realized, that I do not have merits for skill, neither does any of my work carry any significant meaning.

It's not those things that make you gasp with awe or rethink about the world.

I realized that as much as I'd want to think I am, I'm not an artist. I do not carry the depth of perception, the quirkiness of thoughts, the craftsmanship and genius.

I just draw to divert my attention from the troubles I cannot do anything about, to release my anxiety, to control myself from sinking deep into depression, to alleviate loneliness.

They're not works of art at all...just ventilations in lines shapes and colors.

 

Is something i always happen to do when I read things I've written or see things I've drawn from the past. Often I doubt the things I could do, and now that it's been a while since I've done anything I've actually enjoyed, I've already forgotten if I was ever really close to what I think of myself.

Any re-acquainting with old scribbles always delivers to bring back some sort of due respect for who I am (or rather, was), which, sadly I know I often lack.

6 years ago, my vision has been a bit of a trouble. Every time I go back to the ophthalmologist I seem to get worse by a degree. A hopeless sentimental, I glanced around me and wrote:

I stare at the world with blurry vision,
see it in a way no one else but I ever could.
I guess I'm just appreciating the scenery
before the whole world fades in front of my eyes.

6 years forward, my eyes are still keeping up with me. I didn't really go blind, in fact, I was better. But yeah, I guess it was a thought to think that if your vision fails gradually one day you wouldn't see anything. Entropy. Lol. Thermodynamics. What the heck right? I'm trying to rewrite most of the things from my flashcards and notebooks here, but it's really becoming a wonder. Or yes, okay, maybe documenting these things seem to be on the border of being self-obsessed, but hey, I don't think anyone can be blamed for wanting to keep tabs on themselves.

...I'm being defensive. Lol.

Anyway aside from the gazillions of ladies in black lacy outfits and Gothic crosses doodled in every page, and a scrawny marks of "I'm bored." everywhere else, comes things like these from my second year of college (alongside notes from a discussion about a Utopian dystopia, and the difference between pain and injury):

In my hands, are my eyes.
I see as I can feel.

It took me a long while to even understand what I meant, a testament to just how much of myself I've already forgotten.